Just One

I think it's the Scandinavian way...never eat the last of anything! Perhaps it's embedded in our DNA, some kind of Norse survival skill that dates back to Viking-ship times. Or maybe it's just some kind of twisted Minnesota-nice; you can consume the majority of something, but if you leave the last one you can still feel good about yourself for being so generous. Whatever it is, something inside just won't let me eat that last Samoa, even though I'm pretty sure I ate every other cookie in the box. You know how it goes; or maybe you don't, so let me tell ya. It always starts with the same internal monologue: "I'm just gonna have one...row. One row really isn't that much, it's only like three cookies. Alright, I'm only having three...rows." You see where this is going. Not pretty. Does anyone know why the outside of these boxes are littered with images of young folks engaging in aerobic activities? Maybe it's to remind us that if we eat too many cookies, we'll never know the joy of riding zip-lines.

So I tried to watch that bit on 20/20 about the Royal Family, but I ended up falling asleep. I guess there weren't enough teasers of Wills and Harry without their shirts on to keep me going. There was one part, though, that I found tragically amusing. The Queen was having lunch with George and Laura Bush. Laura was carrying-on about the history of the plates they were using, while George hung spoons off his face. Ok, the spoons part is false, but you have to admit it's a funny image. Anyway, I was really kind of feeling for the Queen in that moment; she looked so bored, and I wonder how many moments like that she has to endure in a single day. She is just a person too, after all, and you know she can't find plates that interesting. I wonder how many times a day she feels like saying, "Bitch, please! Are we still talking about plates? Have you seen the new trailer for the Sex and the City movie? I'm totally a Samantha; I even have a t-shirt that says so. By Jingo!" If I were British, I would end every thought with "By Jingo!"

I woke up just in time to catch the end of John Leguizamo on HBO performing his one-man show called "Freak." Man, it takes a crazy kind of talent to be able to do something like that. You should check it out if you've never seen it. It's funny, dirty, and really very moving...what more could you want? I'm not sure if it's on DVD, but I think you can see most of it on YouTube. Seek it out, and try to watch it in its entirety. Even if you're not a big fan of his, I think you'll still take something away from it. He is really quite an amazing story-teller and a genius performer. So that's my plug for the evening.

Good night, and God Save the Queen. By Jingo!